


Freedom and Flight (Ziam)

by amores29



Category: Liam - Fandom, One Direction, Zayn - Fandom, concert - Fandom, liam payne - Fandom, reality - Fandom, sex - Fandom, zayn malik - Fandom, ziam - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Vegas, one direction in vegas, ziam vegas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-25
Updated: 2013-08-01
Packaged: 2017-12-09 11:52:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/773888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amores29/pseuds/amores29
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn has been in love with Liam since the Xfactor days and it's always been unrequited, but now they've just had a big fight about Danielle coming to visit Liam in Vegas. Zayn hurt his hand in anger and now it's time for Liam and Zayn to have the talk to get their feelings out in the open. Will it be the beginning of Ziam or the start of an angst and tension filled relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: Before the Show

Liam

I sat in the dressing room waiting for Olly’s set to be over so we could take the stage. Today had been a bizarre day and the things with Zayn were not on the right foot. God, man I don’t get him sometimes, I told him weeks ago that I needed some time to decide what I wanted and now he flips the fuck out and hurts his hand punching the bloody wall. All because Dani is coming to visit. I mean it’s her birthday of course she’s going to expect something special. We’re in Vegas so what better present than to fly her in to Vegas. I know he has some kind of crush but I’m confused and I still have a girlfriend to worry about.

Oh here comes Lou. Maybe I can talk to him since you know the whole Harry and him situation.

“Liam, mate I’ve got a great idea for a…Oh…why are you just sitting there looking all bummed?” He asked as he sat next to me on the couch.

I wiped my hand down my face and then ran it through my hair. Making sure he had closed the door behind him when he came in, I decided to tell him everything.

“Fuck man, it’s Zayn. I don’t even know what to do.”

“What do you mean?”

“His feelings Lou. I know he has some kind of feelings towards me but I don’t know how serious they are. He’s sending me mixed signals and now he’s pissed off about Danielle coming to the show tonight. Like I don’t get it, he’s with Perrie and he’s hooking up with girls all the time, but he flirts with me and acts like he wants more than friendship. How can he flirt with me and still be hooking up with other people. I feel like he’s just playing games and I don’t know how to act towards him now. I don’t know what I want, I’m not going to break up with Dani just to hook up. For all I know I’d just be another notch on his belt and I honestly don’t know how I feel about him. How can I figure out how I feel if I don’t even know how he feels? I’m so confused, I…”

“Whoa whoa whoa, Liam man you got to relax. Is that why he punched that wall?” Lou interrupted me.

“Yeah.” I nodded my head at Lou.

“Mate. We both know that he’s only with Perrie to help out Little Mix so I don’t even get why you’re worried about her, no feelings there. I honestly think the only reason he’s hooking up with those other girls is because you won’t return his feelings so he’s seeking it from other people. You can’t expect him to wait around for you forever. If you can’t tell by now that he has serious feelings for you, then you need to seriously open your eyes because the rest of us have known that he wants you bad for fucking ever man. Have you talked to him about this?”

“Not really. He kind of hinted at wanting more and I just told him I needed time and we haven’t talked about it since. Basically been avoiding the situation. Ya know?”

“Don’t you think that him punching a fucking wall and hurting his hand shows how serious his feelings are? Where is he anyway, we have to go on soon.” He said as he got up from his chair.

“Probably brushing his teeth. You know how he is.” I said as we both walked to the table to get a quick cup of tea before hitting the stage.

Just then, Zayn and Harry walked in talking quietly with Niall following behind. Harry came over to the table, gave Louis a kiss and snatched up a Banana. Niall grabbed a chicken wrap and Zayn just walked over to the couch me and Lou had just been on and laid down on it. He didn’t even look at me. Maybe I was over analyzing things. He doesn’t have to look at me every time I’m in his presence or the same room. I’m sure he’s not even upset anymore, probably just tired from everything else we’ve been doing today. I drank my cup of tea thinking about what Lou had just said and decided I do need to talk to him. Maybe tomorrow or Monday when we have a day off I’ll talk to Zayn. Yeah. Right now we have a show to do.

Zayn

“Fuck! Man this is Bullshit Liam and you know it!”

I punch the wall and hit it right at the corner.

“You’re just ……you’re not even…just … I can’t believe you’re bringing her here for tonight’s show and you’re just telling me now!”

Shit that fucking hurt I should have known better, now my fucking hand is throbbing and I can’t even touch my wrist or bend it because it hurts so much.

“Zayn man, please calm down. I don’t even understand why you’re so upset. It’s her birthday I gotta do something for her and besides what does it matter if I tell you now or two days ago that she’s coming?” Liam says as he’s trying to grab my arm so he can take a look at my hand.

I pull away. He knows damn well why it bothers me that she’s coming, but if he wants to play that game after what he said a few weeks ago, then fucking fine. I’m done trying to give him time to realize how the hell I feel. I’ll just leave him alone, maybe it’s time to get over my feelings. I mean Louis and Harry clicked so long ago and almost instantly, why is it taking Liam so long? Maybe he really doesn’t feel that way about me and was just trying not to hurt my feelings, because I gave him time and space to come back and talk to me and he didn’t.

“You know why Liam. You honestly gonna sit there and act like nothing happened a few weeks ago? You know what man, just forget it. Don’t even worry about it…”

“Damn Zayn, bro what happened to your hand? It’s swollen massive.” Says Harry as he walks through the doorway spotting my hand.

If he overheard any of the conversation his face doesn’t give it away and he’s a really bad actor so I don’t think he did hear anything.

“Ah, nothing I was just doing some boxing punches in the air to loosen up and got too close to the wall and accidently punched it. No biggie. It hurts like hell though.”

“Right. Well, let’s go get it looked at then. I’ll walk with you.” Harry said and pulled me by my upper-arm towards the hallway.

Zayn

“Right, so wanna tell me why you really punched the wall? Cuz it seems to me that you and Liam got real silent after I walked in.”

Harry and I were leaving the medical center on the Planet Hollywood property walking back to our rehearsal area. My hand was wrapped in gauze. Of course management wants us to make up some excuse about what really happened to my hand. They decided the excuse would be that I sprained my wrist lifting weights, even though I have little scratches past my knuckles. I hate all the lies but whatever, as long as I can perform with it I’m fine.

I didn’t want to talk to Harry about it but everybody could probably tell I had some kind of feelings for Liam that went beyond platonic friendship. So I told him what really happened.

He looked at me afterwards with sympathetic eyes and shook his head.

Harry sighed. “Zayn, maybe you should be more explicit with your feelings. Maybe Liam’s not noticing everything or maybe he thinks you don’t have feelings stronger that a small crush.”

“No man. Harry I tried and he just shut me down saying he needed time. That’s exactly what I did and now he’s bringing her out here. I don’t even want to see her face. She’s not good enough for him, she’s not even fucking faithful anymore. I just don’t get how he’s still committed to her. I think I’m just going to let this go and try to just be just friends again.”

“Alright. But, I don’t think that’s what you really want to do.”

We walked the rest of the way in silence. My thoughts on the fact that I’d probably need to find someone else to get my sexual frustrations out of the way tonight, especially if Danielle was going to be here. I needed the distraction.

Zayn

Later on, close to show time, I walked to the dressing room with Harry and Niall. I was tired, my wrist hurt and I was not in a good mood at all. I had tried to take a quick nap earlier but that was restless and I ended up just drawing some new stuff in my book. Louis and Liam were already in the dressing room at the food table so I just laid down on the couch to avoid Liam. God he looks so cute …… and hot. Can you be both cute and hot at the same? That shouldn’t be possible. Ugh I don’t think I can take looking at his face right now. I’m gonna try to avoid being too close to him, that’s the best strategy. 

Someone knocked on the open dressing room door and by the way that everyone in the room stiffened I didn’t even have to turn to know it was Danielle.

“Hey babe!” She shouted. Running up to give Liam a kiss.

He caught her in his arms and gave her a smile, leaning in to kiss her. I turned my face away so that I wouldn’t have to see them together. I closed my eyes just running through the lyrics in my head and the stage placements for the show. I wish I hadn’t brushed my teeth already so I would have an excuse to leave.

“Alright guys. You have ten minutes till show time let’s go. Come on.” Marco, our management assistant poked his head in to tell us the time.

We all left the room and walked down the hallway to get to the entrance for the stage and Liam sent her on her way. Lou and Caroline double checked our clothes and make up and then the crew checked our mics and in-ears. We did a quick vocal warm-up and then gathered in a circle for our pre-show talk and chant. I slid in between Niall and Louis in the huddle and listened to Louis talk. Then we went to our entrance points behind the stage where we could hear the music of our introduction video. 

Chapter 2

On Stage

Liam

Zayn’s being so distant on stage tonight. I thought he’d be over this disagreement or at least put it aside for the sake of the show. I don’t know what else to do and the rest of the boys are noticing it too. Louis keeps giving me pointed looks in Zayn’s direction but it’s not like I can do anything while we’re on stage. He was avoiding me that much was clear, he couldn’t be more obvious about it. I took a deep breath and looked out into the crowd spotting Danielle after a few seconds, and for the first time I didn’t feel any kind of pull towards her. This whole situation was leaving my stomach in knots. I looked over at him again and he looked so down, it made me upset that I was responsible for this especially his hurt hand. The band started playing More Than This, and I started my verse:

I’m broken, do you hear me?  
I’m blinded, ‘cause you are everything I see,  
I’m dancin’ alone, I’m praying,  
That your heart will just turn around,

And as I walk up to your door,  
My head turns to face the floor,  
‘Cause I can’t look you in the eyes and say

I looked over at Zayn as Harry started singing and instead of looking upset he looked indifferent. There was no emotion in his eyes at all. And that should have relieved me because that meant the pressure was off, but instead it upset me. Then it really hit me, this wasn’t what I wanted, I didn’t want the looks to stop. If I was really being honest with myself I had noticed Zayn’s feelings for me growing and I didn’t put a stop to it because I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the look in his eyes when he watched me speak, I enjoyed when he complimented me and looked at me like he meant it 100%, I liked the way that he said my name and found subtle ways to touch me. I just hadn’t wanted to accept it for what it was but I liked it a hell of a lot. I also realize it’s selfish for me to continue to make him go on thinking his feelings were unrequited. Just because I was confused didn’t mean that I couldn’t figure out that I had some kind of feelings for him. I just wasn’t sure how deep they went

I sat on the couch waiting for Zayn to finish his solo and then come sit next to me and do his riffs. I tried to at least catch his eye and give him a signal that I wanted to talk to him or that we were okay. He completely ignored me, didn’t even look in my direction and sat as far away from me as he could without making it obvious to the world. Shit, I really think I might have pushed him away with this Dani situation and avoiding talking to him about us. Louis comes over, sits on the couch and pushes me as close to Zayn as possible with a smirk on his face. I sing my last few lines with my face turned singing towards Zayn hoping that maybe he’ll realize that I’m trying to get his attention, but just like how the rest of the show has gone, he pretends not to notice at all. 

He did this throughout the rest of the show keeping his distance when we would normally sing to each other or be right next to each other. During I Want he didn’t even walk over all the way to meet in the center of the stage and at the end of the damn song he only put his arm around Harry and left the other hand down at his side instead of putting it around me.

After the show

Liam

“Hey Liam mate, I think he’s really upset man you should talk to him now before he does something stupid. I saw him getting a girl lined up for later, so you better act fast.” Louis whispered as he walked past me into the dressing room after the show and taking pictures with fans.

We were getting ready to leave and go up to the hotel part of Planet Hollywood. Having the concert venue and the hotel in the same place was really convenient. I looked around for Zayn; he was probably up in the room already. A few minutes later after waiting impatiently for the elevator, I walked down the hall to the room I had been sharing with Zayn. I walked in to find all the boys sitting on our two beds and none of my stuff was in sight. They were talking and laughing and all except Zayn looked up at me as I entered.

“Hey, where’s my stuff?” I asked, still looking around confused as hell.

“Oh, we put your things in the single bedroom on the other side of the hall so that you could have alone time with Danielle.” Niall was the one who answered me.

I had completely forgotten about Danielle. Shit! She was probably waiting in that room for me right now. But I wanted to talk to Zayn first. I needed to talk to Zayn first. I didn’t like this silent treatment. I at least wanted to be on good terms again.

“Oh ok then, makes sense.” I replied to Niall. “Hey, Zayn uh, can I talk to you for a quick second.” I looked towards him and he’s sitting up on the bed tossing a small ball up and down. He doesn’t even look my way before he responds.

“Nah, I’m good Liam, go ahead spend time with your girlfriend for her birthday.” He replied.

The other boys exchanged looks and looked at me shaking their head in sympathy. Louis spoke up.

“Ummm Zayn we’re gonna go ahead and head back downstairs for a minute explore the hotel a bit. Give you and Liam a chance to talk. You know, since you guys kind of need to.”

“Lou, I don’t need to ta…Ooomph.” Zayn made a grunt of pain as Harry elbowed him and tilted his head my way, signaling to Zayn that he should talk to me. “Okay, Okay I’ll talk.”

I stood there eyeing all of them, shifting from foot to foot. I didn’t like the fact that everyone knew what we were going to talk about, but as close as we all were as a band there was no hiding it anyway. I moved out of the doorway for everyone to leave. Then they closed the door behind me and I turned and locked it.

Zayn was still tossing that fucking ball and ignoring me. I felt like grabbing it from him and throwing it at the window.

“Zayn.” I waited for him to look up.

“Zayn! Man talk to me. I don’t want things to be like this between us.” I walked over to the bed that was empty and sat down with one leg tucked underneath me.

“Like what Liam? Please tell me like what because as of right now I have no idea what you mean.” Zayn finally looked at me with anger and pain in his eyes.

“You know what I’m talking about! You’ve been ignoring me ever since I told you about Danielle coming to the show. I don’t know what to do and how to fix it. I told you the other week I was confused about how I felt. I thought it was just platonic towards you but now I realize that it might be more than that and I don’t know man. Danielle is still my girlfriend I can’t just up and leave her like this. So can we talk about this?” I pleaded with him.

He stood up and turned towards me. “What do you mean you realize it might be more than that? What do you want Liam?”

I looked at his face as he talked to me. I honestly had never seen anybody look so angry and hot at the same time. I sometimes tried to block out how good looking he really is and yeah I was attracted to it. His clenched jaw right now is just really hot. It’s frustrating me even more. I took a deep breath and then told him what I had realized earlier.

“Zayn, this is hard for me to say out loud. I think …….I think ummm” I sigh out loud. “Zayn, I thnk I might want more than being just friends too.”

“Yeah, well I don’t know if I want that anymore. So now I need time to think about how I feel. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have a guest to call to come up and help me relive some stress.” He said walking towards the table against the wall where he had put his phone.

Oh hell no. Did he think this was a big fucking game? I was done with this back and forth shit. I walked over, grabbed his arm from the back and spun him around to face me.

“Do you think this is a fucking game Zayn? Are you playing some kind of game with me?”

He looked startled that I had handled him like that.

“Really Liam? You’re asking me that after I’ve pined after you for almost 2 years? You’re asking if it’s a game after I put myself out there a few weeks ago and tried to tell you how I feel?” His voice was rising. “You didn’t want to hear how I feel about you. I fucking fell in love with you Liam and you’ve always been hers. You’ve never even looked at me in the same way but I never stopped having these feelings for you and I never stopped wishing that was me in your arms instead of her. It’s like you’re oblivious or something!!” His voice cracked at the end and there his eyes were glistening with unshed tears in his eyes.

He closed his eyes and tried to pull away from me but I held on tight to his arm. There was no way I was letting him go now. He was in love with me? Love? I was shocked, I really had thought it was just a crush and some subtle flirting.

“But…but Zayn, what about all the girls you’ve been hooking up with?” I ask him.

“Are you that daft Liam? I just needed a way to get some frustration out. They never meant anything.” He shakes his head at me.

Then I act without even thinking and lower my lips to touch his and at first he stays still. Just when I start to pull away he reaches up with his other arms and grabs onto my neck. From there the kiss turns into something explosive, my eyes are closed and I see fireworks. I let go of the arm that I was holding and put my arms on his hips. I back him up against the wall and if possible the kiss gets even better, like we’re inhaling each other. There’ve been “accidental” kisses and there was what happened a few weeks ago but those were just quick pecks. This was a whole other level we don’t even take a break for air and I don’t know how I still have the breath to kiss him this shouldn’t be possible. I feel my dick swell up and I press against him so I know he can feel it. He moans and sucks my lower lip into his mouth biting down gently with his teeth. I reach down even further and grab his butt with both of my hands pressing him even closer. I decide right there and then that I love how small his butt is. I can practically grab his whole butt with my hands, it fits perfectly. I like this. I like this a lot.

He pulls away from me breathing heavily and pants out my name. “Liam.” The way he says it out of breath is almost my undoing. “What are you doing? Are you sure?”

I cut him off again with another kiss and start moving him to the bed. I don’t want to think right now. I’ve been thinking for too long. Right now I just want Zayn and I decide that I’m just going to go with the flow and live in the moment with the closest thing to perfection that has ever been created. I want to kiss everywhere. His cheekbones, his jaw line, his collar bones, and all of his tattoos. But I don’t know if we have the time for that right now.

“Fuck Zayn.” I moan and start walking backwards towards the bed dragging him with me. I fall backwards on the bed and pull him on top of me. Now I can feel his hardness against me. And I don’t want to stop doing whatever this is.


	2. Ch. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zayn and Liam finally sleep with each other after the Vegas concert.

Zayn  
Liam flipped me over so that now he’s on top pressing his body against mine. I feel every muscle of his fit into the contour of my own body. It feels so right, it just feels so right. My mind is racing and I just want to block out all these thoughts and questions I have and just live in this moment forever. His lips move to my neck and his pace is frantic but his lips are gentle. Oh God! He’s so fucking gentle; I can feel him holding back. I don’t want his caution; I just want his passion, all of it. His lips are so soft, every time they leave my skin I almost beg him to put them back there. I start to moan and he puts a hand over my mouth and lifts both of my arms over my head, keeping them in place while his mouth continues traveling over my neck. His mouth starts moving lower grazing my tattoos, tracing them with his tongue making my body jerk uncontrollably.  
I free my hands so I can do some exploring of my own. His lips break contact with my skin as I lift his shirt up and over his head. His chest and torso is a fucking masterpiece. I run my hands down feeling each of his abs before coming back up to squeeze his chest. I pull on his neck, directing his lips back up to mine. We begin a slow dance with our tongues while our hands have a mind of their own. I’m so lost in what we’re doing that when I open my eyes I realize we’re both just in our underwear. I reach my hand down to cup him and his dick jumps in my palm. That gives me instant pleasure, knowing that I made that happen, that it’s me having this effect on him.  
I pull his dick out staring down between our two bodies to get a look at it. It’s magnificent and I decide I want to try something. I push him off of me and get up on my knees. My eyes lock on his as I back down the bed to get closer to my prize. His eyes widen when he realizes what I’m about to do. I smirk and stick my tongue out. Slowly, I lower my head to his dick so that only the tip of my tongue lightly touches it. He closes his eyes in pleasure and I feel a shiver run through him. I smile again dragging my tip down the whole length of him and back up to the top. I take only the head between my lips and swirl my tongue around it like I’m enjoying the first bite of an ice cream cone. I pop his dick out of my mouth so the cold air hits it and then take the first inch back in my mouth. My tongue licks around the whole length and width of his dick getting it wet and ready for some sucking. I come back to the top and finally take him in my mouth until I feel it touching the back of my throat. I moan causing vibrations from my throat to move against his dick. His hips thrust up and his hands grab at the hair on my head. I move my head up and down several times repeating the moans when he touches the back of my throat. On the last time down I go past my throat and I take all of him in. I almost gag but squeeze my thumb to keep control of my reflex. Slowly my mouth comes off of his dick making wet sloppy noises that turn me on even more. I give him one final lick before he pulls my head up and starts to kiss me again. This time, he has a hand cupping my dick.  
He pulls my own briefs down and I pull his hands out of the way so that our bodies can press against each other with no barriers. Rubbing up and down against each other our dicks feel like they’re making fire. God, I hope he doesn’t stop. I swear I’ll go crazy if he stops. He pulls apart from me, his breath coming out in gasps and his mouth open like he wants to say something but can’t.  
“What Liam?” I pant out.  
“Nothing, it’s nothing I was just wondering Ummm……..which” He stops again running a flustered hand through his hair.  
“Which what?”  
“God, this is awkward. Ummm…..which one of us……..you know, I’ve never done this with a guy before so.” He blushes.  
I finally understand what he’s trying to get out and I smile and lean in to whisper, “Liam, babe, I want YOU to fuck me.”  
I pull back to see his reaction, he’s speechless. I leave the bed to go grab a condom from my wallet. My legs are shaking and I grab some lube from my one of my bags, I still can’t believe this is about to happen. I toss them to him and climb back on the bed. He grabs the lube up and pours some on his fingers. I lay on my bed waiting for his fingers to touch my ass. My butt clenches when I feel his fingers at my entrance.  
“Aaaah” I groan out in pleasure as his finger enters me. He moves it slowly in and out, the lube making his movements extra smooth. His other hand moves to my dick, it has a little lube on it that leaked from the bottle and he starts jerking my dick while his finger moves in and out of me. He puts another finger in and I press my head down onto the pillow to muffle my moans. He’s so sure of his movements now.  
“Liaaaaaaam” I groan out. My body’s squirming from pleasure. I’m so ready for him. “Please, Liam I’m ready now.”  
His hands disappear and I hear the condom rapper open. A minute later I feel him at my entrance. He’s slow to push into me. I’m stretching to accommodate him and he feels huge. He pulls back a little then puts a bit more in. He repeats this until he’s all the way in and he sits there for a minute. I’m happy for this pause, it gives me time to enjoy this moment and feel every single thing. He starts moving again slowly working to find a rhythm between us. He puts his hand to my dick again and the combination of him in my ass and jerking me off at the same time takes me over the edge and I burst all over the sheet beneath me and in his hand. The feeling of pleasure is so much that I scream out his name and buck my body causing me to slam myself against his dick. Now Liam goes crazy his pace gets rapid he bangs into me and the bed starts banging against the wall. A few minutes later I feel his pulsing and I feel him emptying his load. He groans out and falls against me giving me a kiss on the back of my neck.  
I turn around and give him a kiss on the lips and close my eyes happy that this moment finally came. So happy that things are finally changing between us.


	3. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the hook up what's going to happen between Zayn and LIam?

Ch.4  
Zayn  
I wake up with a smile on my face and roll to the side of the bed to check the time. Only an hour and a half has passed since the boys left us alone in this room. The bed starts shifting and I turn to find Liam getting up and grabbing at his clothes.  
“How comes you’re in such a rush Li? This is our room you know.” I laugh nervously.  
By now he’s putting his shoes on. He looks at me avoiding my eyes. “Yeah I know. I just have to go speak to Danielle real quick she’s been waiting. She’s probably trying to figure out what’s taking so long.”  
“You gonna break up with her?”  
He shakes his head. “I can’t really break up with her on her birthday Zayn. That would so messed up man. I’m just gonna hang with her for the night.”  
My heart starts beating faster; I’m not getting a good feeling from the direction that this conversation is taking. I have a feeling he’s not going to say what I want to hear.  
“So what about me and you? After what just happened where do we go from here? What are you going to tell her?” I ramble of the questions barely stopping for air.  
He sighs and takes a deep breath. “I don’t know Zayn. I don’t know if I’m going to tell her anything. I love what just happened here. It was one of the best experiences of my life. I just don’t know what to do next.”  
“So that’s it then?” I know I’m being irrational and not considering his uncertainties but I don’t care. I’ve waited so long for this, pined so long for him and we finally do this and he’s backing out. “You’re going to stay with her and act like this never happened?”  
His left hand wipes over his face in frustration. “I DON’T KNOW MAN. I don’t know if I’m gay, if I can completely just be with a guy even if that guy is you. Me and Dani aren’t perfect but I don’t know if I can let go of what I have going on with her.”  
I turn away from him, not wanting to hear anymore of his words. My heart is starting to ache and I feel like an idiot. Maybe I was stupid for thinking we would be like Louis and Harry; that we would become a legitimate couple and have dates and anniversaries. Suddenly, I’m pulled and turned around by my shoulder to face him. Now he’s standing in front of me with a frown on his face.  
“Don’t be like that Zayn. This meant a lot to me, it’s just that it was in the heat of the moment and I didn’t stop and think about what it would mean after.”  
He backs me up against the wall and looks into my eyes. “I’m sorry if this is hurting you but I have to go.”  
He leans in to give me a kiss. I turn my face at the last minute so that he catches my cheek. I can’t continue to let him see me like this, at my weakest, with my heart on my sleeve. I’m stronger than this, I can be stronger. I feel myself start to build my walls up. I have to protect myself. I look Liam straight in the eyes and smile.  
“Okay Li, I understand. There’s no pressure. C’mon let’s go, I wanna meet up with the lads anyway.” I say as I walk around him to get my own clothes. 

Liam  
I close the door quietly as I step outside the room and wait for Zayn to be ready. I feel so bad. My mind is a jumble of random thoughts. I don’t know what to do. Ugh. I want to punch something. I take a few deep breaths. I just don’t know if I’m gay, I don’t know if I’ll be happy with only Zayn. I care about him I know that, I love him. I love what just happened in that room. I just don’t know if I’m ready to take that leap with him. I hate that I hurt him, the look in his eyes when I answered his questions. He’s already been through so much, I don’t want to add to his pain but I don’t want to rush into something without being a hundred percent sure.  
The door opens and out he comes. God he looks so good. He looks good in whatever he wears but now for some reason he looks extra good. I have the urge to kiss him again but I restrain myself. Forcing myself to think about Dani and the birthday plans I have for her. The door across the hall and two rooms down opens and out comes Louis, Harry and Niall.  
“Hey guys ready to go?” Louis asks, eyes shifting between me and Zayn, trying to gauge what happened in the room between us.  
“Actually guys, Liam’s not coming with us, he has plans with Dani for her birthday.” Zayn says giving me a slap on the back as he walks past me towards the boys.  
All three of the boys look at me, their eyes filled with curiosity. Niall looks the longest. Louis puts an arm around Zayn and they turn to walk down the hallway.  
I turn to walk to the room that Dani’s waiting for me in. The door opens before I can unlock it and out comes a startled Dani.  
“Oh. Hey sweetie, I was just coming to look for you to see if you were ready. Is that how you’re going?” She leans in to give me a kiss. My stomach drops and I can’t identify the feeling I get while the kiss lasts. I push the feeling aside and grab her hand.  
“No babe. Let me take a quick shower before we leave. I’ll only be a minute. By the way you look fit tonight.” I smile and walk past her into the room.


End file.
